


Grenade!

by Microdigitalwaker



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Ass Play, Explosives, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-16 16:19:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11256573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Microdigitalwaker/pseuds/Microdigitalwaker
Summary: Mac experiments and it's  Dennis to the rescue!





	Grenade!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SubwayWolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubwayWolf/gifts).



Just when Dennis thinks the solitary thumps and moans from Mac's bedroom have stopped, they begin anew only louder.  He frowns; if there is one thing that he's commited to memory, it's Mac's masturbation  routine.  It's...it's soothing, Dennis admits to himself, the creaking of Mac's crappy mattress, the guy's cute stream of dirty talk, the satisfied grunt of completion followed by contented snores.

Thump! _CRASH!_

Dennis pounds on the wall that separates their bedrooms. “Jesus, Mac! What the fuck?"

"THUD!"

A man's got to have his beauty sleep; Dennis slips on a pair of briefs and hurries to give Mac the rough side of his tongue.

He crashes through the door,  sliding to a stop. His planned tirade abruptly derails at the sight of Mac lying pale and sweaty on the floor.

Nude.

"Dennis!  It's  stuck!"

“What? Whats stuck?  I swear to God, Mac..."

Mac curls up, now resembling a toned, hairy pill bug, muttering something inaudible. 

Dennis steps towards him, helpless and unexpectedly concerned.  "Use your words, Mac."

"Come on down here first," Mac bleats, as if afraid to say what's stuck out loud.  Dennis slides to the floor, careful to adjust his briefs as he moves, aware always of his most visually appealing angles.

"What?"

Mac blinks, his eyes as dark and wide as a baby doe. "So, Charlie and I went to the pawn shop this afternoon. Dennis,  I  swear I didn't buy it to stick up in me.  I...I  just started playing with it and I remembered a story from my Dad, when he was in 'Nam and I had to try it."  

Mac takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. I've got a hand grenade up my ass, bro."

 "What?  How?!?"

“Would you believe I was changing my clothes and tripped and fell and…”

“No, I would not!" Dennis snaps.  "Look," he continues more gently as it looks like Mac's about to cry.  "We'll get dressed and I'll drive you to the hospital.  I wont even say anything about  it to Charlie or Frank or Dee."  

There's  a moment of silence after that last part as they both consider just how unlikely that last part was, not when there's opportunities for cheap laughs or, better yet, blackmail.

"No hospital.  You gotta go in there, Den.  You can grab it and  give it a tug and it should pop right out.  Please?"

Dennis sighs. "Okay.  Get on your hands and knees."

*

Dennis, who rightfully considers himself a master of ass play, carefully eases a lubed finger into Mac. His movements  are incremental, just getting the lay of the land, so to speak.

It isnt that much different from fingering a chick once you get over the different  parts below the taint.  Not so bad, especially as he's  beginning to appreciate the spectacular bounce of Mac's beautifully  proportioned ass cheeks.

If Dennis were even more honest with himself, he would admit that it's nicer than any chicks' he's ever banged and almost as sexy as Dennis's own.  Problem is that the lube isn’t helping, making everything too slick and hard to grasp.

And there's something  else, something that's getting Dennis kinda warm and excited.

"You're so damned tight!"

"I'll try to relax," Mac promises, leaning against Dennis's  thighs as he tries to open for his questing fingers.  

Dennis closes his eyes and rests.his head on the warm shelf of Mac's  ass, his hand sliping until it brushes against something long and hot and hard.

“ _Mac!"_  Dennis yelps. “How can you have a boner?”

“I got needs,” Mac replies, shivering as Dennis's fingers instinctively grip his stiff dick, nice and tight.

“I have needs too, Mac but I don’t go packing my ass with explosives!”

“It isn’t one of the real ones – just a dummy – a dud.  It's not even that big; maybe half the size of the one me and Charlie...”

Mac doesn't finish; too busy now pumping his cock into the warm tunnel created by Dennis's talented fingers.

"I got an idea, " Dennis exclaims, twisting until he's licking to head of Mac's dick.

 _This isn't half bad!_ Dennis thinks, bobbing his head in time with his pumping hand as he grabs the tip of the grenade. His jaw starts cramping up and he isn't sure about the taste as Mac quivers and curses, filling Dennis's mouth full of hot man cream.

Mac's relaxed and open; Dennis is able to remove the foreign object with ease. He smiles as his friend collapses, panting but relieved.

It's a good thing Mac's window is open because Dennis is getting rid of the damned toy hand grenade once and for all and a pane of glass wouldn't have stopped his throw. But first, as a lark, he snaps off the little metal ring, shouting, "Fire in the hole!" 

BOOM!

"HOLY SHIT!" They both yell in unison, hurrying to the window to observe the small crater marring the back alley. Not to mention the fire.

"Promise me, man! You gotta promise you won't tell the gang!" begs Mac, all pale and shaken.

"Blow me and we've got  a deal," laughs Dennis, eager to have Mac's pretty mouth on his dick.

"Anything," Mac vows, already coming up with ideas of his own as they ignore the fire engines below.

 

 


End file.
